And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
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