All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
