I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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