I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
