I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
