Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize