i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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