bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
