if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
