You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize