I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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