You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
