im holly from the hills drunk
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
