I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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