We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
