you're like a bully in the Christmas story
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
