I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
