i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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