We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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