Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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