As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
