So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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