Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
