Having a random hookup so left but love u
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
