I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I could make wine with my vomit
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
