and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
