sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
