I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
