I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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