I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
