I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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