ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You made out with two different species that night
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
