we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You took a bar mat shot.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
