dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
just tell him i said nine months
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
