last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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