why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
