i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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