you guys were way drunker than both of me
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
How's work?
Spinning.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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