okay pat passed out under dana's car
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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