Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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