Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
