we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I believe in your delicious
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
