You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
