At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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