Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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