I'm so fucking centered right now
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
