Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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