can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
