She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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