I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
