drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm too high and old for this...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
