i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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