I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
