Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
