He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
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