I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
