Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
