I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
