He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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