i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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